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This article will explain these attachment styles, and how to alter your own into the ideal attachment of being ‘Secure’.
Before we dive into the individual types of attachment styles and how they affect our current thoughts, emotions and behaviors in your relationship, we must first define what attachment is and why certain styles are formed.
It is vital that an individual understands their role in a relationship.
Active understanding and participation can improve relationship dynamics.
People with an avoidant attachment style understand that you must get close to someone in order to get your needs met, but they also fear that if they get too close then they can get hurt.
This incongruent thought process manifests behaviorally through “game-playing” and being “two-faced.” Avoidant individuals tend to remove themselves from relational conflict and often say to themselves, “I will be better off without them.” and “I don’t need them in my life.” This attachment creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of constantly wanting to be loved, but not accepting it when it is given. If your parents were not always there for you as a child, it does not mean you are a lost cause.
A Secure attachment style is formed if the child’s caregiver was typically available to the child during times of stress.The added security in the relationship establishes an environment that promotes independence as well as togetherness.Anxiously attached individuals tend to look toward their partners to fill a void in their life.When the relationship is in jeopardy, sometimes this person will exhibit erratic and unpredictable behavior.
Those who are disorganized in their attachment schema will sometimes display avoidant or anxious tendencies.
If you get with a person that is securely attached and you have an understanding of your own attachment style (take this quiz to find yours out!